On How I DislikeTornadoes

I live in the upper mid-west.  Those that live in the mid-west are quite familiar with tornadoes.  Every first Wednesday of the month, in every season, towns across the mid-west test their sirens to ensure they are working in the event a tornado is spotted, and the townspeople need warning.  As you can imagine, living in the mid-west has made me somewhat of a tornado expert because of all the ones I have already experienced in my life time.

Oh wait….I am confusing mother-nature with the last two years of motherhood.

My cousin recently hostessed a Norwex cleaning party.  The sales-woman asked each of us to introduce ourselves and share what we most disliked about cleaning.  I seriously struggled with naming just one thing; I am sure ANY parent would.  I think I said something about stain removal from the carpet, but really I wanted to shout out, “Everything!”  And really, who likes cleaning?  But my other cousin, who was attending as well, said the constant cleaning-up after the kids.  And that was heartily seconded, thirded, etc., by all moms in the room.

It is a vicious cycle.  Mom picks up the room, turns away, turns back, and BAM!  It’s all back to how it was BEFORE Mom cleaned it up.  The only time the room stays clean is after 9 p.m., IF I clean it back up, or when my child is not home, again, IF I clean it back up.

Run away! Children present!

I spent all day vacuuming in spurts because I would clean one spot, move everything, go to clean another spot, and there is my son, taking up residence in the freshly cleaned spot with toy cars, spilled milk, popcorn, a bag of foam stickers he dumped out, yogurt, juice, every single children’s DVD we have, all of his books, his entire toy box – this list goes on.  Every food item he had today ended up on the floor.  Every toy left its proper place.  And there I was constantly picking up the same FORTY things all day long.  It was exhausting.

There needs to be a siren for this situation.  Actually, you know what?  That is a bad idea.  It would be more annoying to listen to that than to deal with a child tornado – because the siren would NEVER TURN OFF!

Days like today are why I cheat on my gluten-free diet and eat twelve Oreo’s even though there’s a serving size of three.  Suck it, Gluten.  I will deal with you later.  Or rather, I am sure you will deal with me later.


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