On What a Ham My Kiddo Is

My son came home from his dad’s house today.  Everytime he returns from his dad’s, I swear he is smarter and more articulate then when he left.  This is no small feat since, like most parents I am sure, I like to think that my kid is smarter than the average.  Many people I know and/or meet agree, so hopefully this is not coming off as me just being a crazy, brags-too-much mother.  He is quite precocious.

When he play with his cars they speak to each other and help each other out when they get stuck.

Wrapped up in the adorable package of smarts that I call my son is a hilarious little comedian as well.  He is completely unaware, of course, that he is being funny, but as the saying goes, “Kids say the darndest things.”

For instance, today we had popcorn for a snack while watching a movie.  I let it mircowave too long, and I ended up burning it a little.  He first told me he did not want to eat the black ones.  Okay, but it is good, I said.  So he agreed and proceeded to eat it.  About five minutes later, his bowl still almost full, he told me that his popcorn was “kinda crazy”  and did not want it anymore.

While watching the Cars 2 movie, there is a part where the oil rigs are all lit up on fire.  He proceeded to explain to me what those fires were.

“DADDY FIRES”

“I’m sorry, what?!  Daddy fires?  Like your daddy sets fires?  You are setting daddy on fire?”

“Nooooo.  Daddy not a fire!”

He also busted out a “those f*uckers”, which initially made me laugh, then I repeated it back to him and asked if that was what he said, which it was, and then I had to maintain a straight face while attempting to explain he cannot say that.  It was hard!  I really need to watch my language around this kid because that was not the first time he busted out a mega-swear.  He dropped the f-bomb one night when my friend R was visiting, as well.  “For f*cking goodness sake” is what he was attempting to say, but what it sounded like was “those f*cking goldfish”.  Having never heard him swear before, and the self-satisfied grin on his face made us both burst out in laughter for a solid five minutes as we tried to puzzle out what he was saying.

I don’t care who you are, it is freaking hilarious when kids swear.

[Photo from this website.]

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