On What The Big Hot Morning Show Taught Me

One of our local radio stations, Hot 96.7 KDOG, has a morning show, like an self-respecting radio station does.  This morning show is called:  The Big Hot Morning Show.  There are two hosts:  Johnny Marks and Cari. sometimes Stunt Monkey makes an appearance, though I usually only listen to the morning show between 7:00 a.m. and 8:00 a.m. while I am getting ready for work, so maybe he appears more often than I am aware.

Anyways, over the course of time I have been listening to the Big Hot Morning Show, and especially by way of the segments in the morning, I have learned some valuable life lessons.

Big Hot Mess – where the hosts contact to the significant other of the guest caller to determine whether the said significant other is cheating on the guest caller, resulting in a Big Host Mess, or if it was all just a Big Misunderstanding – has taught me never to answer a phone call from an unknown phone number between the hours of 7 and 8 a.m.  If I DO answer the phone, and it happens to be a person from [insert random company here] offering me a free [insert random gift here] to send to anyone I want, to always, always, ALWAYS send it to my current and actual significant other.  If I were to cheat, and I am in no way endorsing cheating, DO NOT send free [insert random gift here] to the mistress [or whatever the male equivalent of a mistress is].  It will only lead to ruination of the actual, current relationship, and will most definitely result in a Big Hot Mess.

Second Date Update – where the guest caller is trying to determine why his or her date never wanted to see them again – taught me that it’s probably better not to know why someone didn’t want to go on a second date with me, because it’s usually not something someone is ready to hear.  I’ve heard many different reasons, some good reasons, some not so good, but in almost every case, the caller wasn’t prepared to handle the rejection associated with the Second Date Update.  Actually, this also taught me that if I have to resort to having the radio show contact my date for me, I am probably a bit lame, OR my date was a loser not worth going on a second date with in any event.

Lastly, I learned not to challenge a local radio host on celebrity news.  She will know more than you; after all, she’s a radio host for a local, current music radio station.  You will be beaten, and she will continue her winning streak of over 100 wins to only a handful of losses.  There’s a reason they call it Celebrity Smackdown – Cari will put the smackdown on you.

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