Monthly Archives: July 2013

On Receiving Compliments

I recently joined a new dating-esque site.  Well, really, it’s a downloaded app on my phone, but same concept.  Honestly, it’s been pretty great so far.  I received lots of attention and fanfare, and some of them have even been smart and good-looking.   (Unless they’re catfishing me, but I’ll never know.   Just call me Manti Te’o.)  In any event, I’ve been receiving many compliments.  Er – I THINK they’re compliments?  Compliment-ish.

1) “Are you lookin for a cuddle buddy”  An appalling lack of punctuation.  Sad.

2) ” Can we have a kid together” I feel like if I wanted to have a stranger’s baby, I would hit up a sperm bank and find someone with a solid pedigree.

3) And along those same lines:  “Omg can we make baby’s”  What of baby’s would you like to make?  Would you like to prepare Baby’s breakfast?  Or make Baby a blankie?  Why don’t you just get back to me?

4) How about: “I would love to run my tongue on your braces?”  It sounds just…so UNhygienic.  I can’t even.  

Basically, meeting people is hard.  Meeting well-adjusted normal people who are not needy, or creepy, or scared away by the mom factor is even harder.

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On That Time I Subsequently Lied Abut Posting More

Okay, okay.  I know I SAID I was going to keep posting.  But I forgot.  Plus, this new layout they’ve got going is confusing me.  It’s like when I was Facebook changed to Timeline.  My co-worker was traumatized by the timeline layout.  “Once I was timelined, I stopped everything.”  Oops.

Well what’s new world?  Still single.  Dating websites are still full of weirdos, and my kid is as cute as ever.  (Except for all the swearing he’s starting doing.  It’s frowned upon to tell your dad to “f*ck it” when you’re four.  Or ever really.)  Oh hey – and I might be getting my braces off by fall.  That’s some exciting news right there!  All plans to workout regularly are then destroyed by my love of food and total lack of athleticism, so I’ve got that going for me, too.

What’s new with you all?  (How many readers do I have left?  One, two?   0.5?  🙂