I recently joined a new dating-esque site. Well, really, it’s a downloaded app on my phone, but same concept. Honestly, it’s been pretty great so far. I received lots of attention and fanfare, and some of them have even been smart and good-looking. (Unless they’re catfishing me, but I’ll never know. Just call me Manti Te’o.) In any event, I’ve been receiving many compliments. Er – I THINK they’re compliments? Compliment-ish.
1) “Are you lookin for a cuddle buddy” An appalling lack of punctuation. Sad.
2) ” Can we have a kid together” I feel like if I wanted to have a stranger’s baby, I would hit up a sperm bank and find someone with a solid pedigree.
3) And along those same lines: “Omg can we make baby’s” What of baby’s would you like to make? Would you like to prepare Baby’s breakfast? Or make Baby a blankie? Why don’t you just get back to me?
4) How about: “I would love to run my tongue on your braces?” It sounds just…so UNhygienic. I can’t even.
Basically, meeting people is hard. Meeting well-adjusted normal people who are not needy, or creepy, or scared away by the mom factor is even harder.